The Ramblings of a MadWoman
by Pesky Ixy Pesternomi
Summary: Articles written by Rita Skeeter, they don't necessarily relate to one another, but I do love to get into the mind of a mad-cow.
1. The Death Eater's Girlfriend

_**I'm posting this for Scarlet Diamonds' "Rita Skeeter of the Daily Prophet!" Challenge.**_

_**I don't own anything at all, except for the laptop upon which I write ;)**_

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_**War Hero, 1/3rd of the Golden Trio, Death Eater's Girlfriend?**_

_**-Rita Skeeter of the Daily Prophet**_

_Everyone knows her name, everyone knows the things she's done for the Magical Community, from fighting alongside Harry Potter in the Great War, to abolishing the slavery of house-elves, there isn't a witch or wizard alive who can't say that Miss Hermione Granger, who just recently celebrated her 22nd birthday, is anything short of a remarkable witch. So then what was she doing being seen on the arm of known Death Eater, Draco Malfoy, aged 21? _

_The pair was seen exiting a little known muggle restaurant this past Wednesday, walking hand in hand and appearing to be very much the young couple in love. While many would agree that Miss Granger deserves nothing but happiness after her great involvement in the war, many may worry about her choice of beau. Not much is known about Draco Malfoy's involvement in the Great War, which in itself is reason enough to raise a few eyebrows, but what we do know is that Mr. Malfoy most definitely sports the Dark Mark, and was seen in the company of many well known Death Eaters on the night of The Great Battle of Hogwarts, almost four years ago. Mr. Malfoy and his mother Narcissa Malfoy, who are both suspected to have been heavily involved in He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's inner circle, both received full ministry pardons at the end of the war, and Mr. Malfoy's father, Lucius Malfoy, served only a short six months in Azkaban, wizarding prision. It is suspected that the Malfoy family bought their freedom, and do not deserve the right to live as ordinary citizens within the Magical Community._

_So the main question we here at the Prophet have for Miss Granger is why? Why the sudden interest in a man who's values differentiate so drastically from her own? We have it on reliable source that the pair were long term rivals during their time spent at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, many times coming dangerously close to dueling. If our sources are correct, then this sudden courtship leaves much to be explained. When did young Mr. Malfoy change his opinion on muggle-borns? When did this romance begin? Does Miss Granger know what she's getting herself into? _

_Until some of these questions are answered, the majority of the Magical Community cannot help but fear for the safety of one of our most coveted heroes. There is no telling what Mr. Malfoy is capable of, when it isn't even known which crimes he is already guilty of. We here at the Daily Prophet would advise those closest to Miss Granger to keep a wary eye out for trouble from the young Mr. Malfoy, at least until more information is found on his past, reassuring us all that Miss Granger is safe in his 'reformed' hands._


	2. The Death Eater's Girlfriend, Part 2

**Author's Note: Thank you so much to those of you who reviewed, here's a continuation of the first chapter. If I continue to post on this story, all articles will not be linked however. **

**I do not own anything you recognize. **

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_**Suspicions Confirmed, Miss Golden Girl, Misguided**_

_**- Rita Skeeter of the Daily Prophet**_

_As reported earlier in the week, Miss Hermione Granger, aged 22, best friend to The Boy Who Defeated The Dark Lord, and highly reputable war hero, has been recently seen dangling on the arm of known ex-Death Eater, Draco Malfoy, aged 21. The illustrious couple has reportedly been seen out and about in Muggle London on many different occassions, and just today they were spotted walking together in Diagon Alley. Had it not been for this authors previous article, we here at the Daily Prophet doubt the couple would have shown themselves together in the wizarding world for quite some time. This raises the question of why? If this is love, why keep it hidden? Is there something the young pair don't want us to know? And if so, why? Why keep the romance a secret, instead of sharing it with the world. If young Mr. Malfoy truly is as reformed as he claims to be, why not publicize this new romance? _

_We believe that perhaps the hoax of a romance is a scheme of Mr. Malfoy's, and that this skilled reporter has uncovered and foiled a plot to abduct Miss Granger. The rest of the wizarding world should rest assured now however, that the situation will be strictly supervised, and that no harm to Miss Granger will come as long as the Prophet is on the case! Those closest to Miss Granger should keep an eye out for trouble from the young Malfoy and act quickly at any sign of instability. Miss Granger would due to remove herself from the situation, but there are still those who wrongfully speculate that the romance is genuine. We know better than that of course. _

_We can only hope that Miss Granger will see the truth of her dire situation before it is too late, and there is nobody around to stop a terrible crime from occurring. It would truly be devestating for anything to happen to Miss Granger. Surely she will soon come to her senses and thank this reporter for seeing what it is she has thus-far failed to see in the eyes of her deranged lover. Until that time, the entire of wizarding England should be on the lookout for unexplainable behavior from Mr. Malfoy, after all, we all have Miss Granger's best interests at heart. _


	3. The Little Orphaned Lord

_**Lord Nott Found Dead, Nott of Natural Causes?**_

_**-Rita Skeeter of the Daily Prophet**_

_In the wee hours of this morning, the Aurors on duty were summoned anonymously to the Nott Manor. Upon arrival, they found the residence to be in a state of disarray, it's wards down. Upon further inspection, the Lord of the house, Mr. Theodore Nott Sr. was found slaughtered in his bed._

_Many of you may have heard of Mr. Nott's suspected involvement in both the first and second war against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, but there was never any proof that the Lord did indeed serve the Dark Lord. _

_Lord Theodore Nott Jr. will be taking over all of the Nott families finances and he inherits both the ancestorial home and a large sum of galleons. While many of the witches and wizards of society will feel remorse for the poor young Lord, being thrust into a position of title and being orphaned at the tender age of 16, this reporter has recently discovered some interesting facts that leads us at the Prophet to believe that young Mr. Nott may not be the abandoned child he appears._

_It is a little known fact that Theodore Nott Jr has been estranged from his father for a number of years. The boy moved out of the Nott family home at the age of 14 and into an apartment which, curiously enough is leased to Esmeralda Zabini, a beautifully famous witch with an uncanny ability to remarry shortly after the death of every one of her late husbands. _

_It is curious that Lord Nott Sr. should pass away just a year before his sons graduation from Hogwarts and a few weeks before his 17th birthday, whereupon Lord Nott Sr. would nolonger hold any responsibility for the child, finacially or otherwise. We find it very curious indeed that the little orphaned boy, who we feel certain was looking at losing any form of inheritance, should suddenly come into such a large sum, in such a tragic manner._

_The Auror Department has yet to release any information on the cause of death, but our readers can rest assured that as information is leaked, you will be the first to hear the news. Young Lord Nott should be warned that if there are any skeletons hiding in his closet, this reporter will discover them._


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